Mind Traps on the Field or Court: How Cognitive Distortions Sabotage Performance—and What to Do About It

Mind Traps on the Field or Court: How Cognitive Distortions Sabotage Performance—and What to Do About It

Mar 29, 2025 | Mental Health

Dr. Heather Larkin, LMHC, MGCP, MPM

In sports, talent and training get the spotlight—but mindset is the game-changer. Even the most physically prepared athletes can find themselves underperforming if their inner dialogue is distorted by negative thinking patterns. These are called cognitive distortions, and they’re often the silent saboteurs of performance, confidence, and enjoyment.

Fortunately, athletes can take control of their mindset—and it starts with understanding the reframing ALL IN Mindset ™ approach: Awareness. Language. Leverage. Intention. Now.

This isn’t just a philosophy—it’s a practical playbook to help athletes shift from mind traps to mental toughness.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are automatic, irrational thought patterns that warp reality. They sneak into the minds of athletes and distort how they see themselves, others, and the game. These thoughts feel real, but they aren’t true—and they create unnecessary pressure, fear, and self-doubt.

Let’s break down some common distortions and show you how to fight back using the ALL IN Mindset ™.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

“If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”

The Trap: Every performance is viewed as black or white—perfect or terrible—with no room for learning or growth.

ALL IN Reset Strategy:

  • AWARENESS: Notice the extremes in your language (“always,” “never,” “ruined”).
  • REFRAME: Replace with a growth-focused perspective: “That wasn’t my best, but I can improve.”
  • INTENTION: Set specific goals for progress over perfection. Ask: What did I do well, and what can I learn?

2. Catastrophizing

“If I mess this up, I’ll lose my spot on the team.”

The Trap: A single mistake becomes a full-blown disaster in your mind. Anxiety takes over, draining focus and composure.

ALL IN Reset Strategy:

  • AWARENESS: Pause and breathe. Catch the spiral before it takes over.
  • LANGUAGE: Swap “what if I fail?” with “what if I succeed?” or “how can I respond if things don’t go my way?”
  • NOW: Ground yourself in the present. Use a physical anchor (e.g., feel your feet on the ground or tap your fingers) to bring your attention back to this moment.

3. Mind Reading

“Coach thinks I’m terrible because of that mistake.”

The Trap: You assume what others are thinking—and it’s usually negative.

ALL IN Reset Strategy:

  • AWARENESS: Recognize when you’re assuming instead of asking or observing facts.
  • REFRAME: Tell yourself: “I don’t know what they’re thinking, but I can control my effort and attitude.”
  • LEVERAGE: Use feedback (when available) as fuel, not fire. Ask questions like: “What can I improve?” instead of “What are they thinking about me?

4. Overgeneralization

“I always mess up under pressure.”

The Trap: One mistake becomes your whole identity. Confidence shrinks.

ALL IN Reset Strategy:

  • AWARENESS: Identify the “always” or “never” patterns.
  • REFRAME: Narrow the focus: “I struggled this time, but that doesn’t define me.”
  • LEVERAGE: Keep a confidence journal—write down 3 wins (big or small) every day to remind yourself of what’s working.

5. Personalization

 “We lost because of me.”

The Trap: You take sole responsibility for a team outcome, even when it wasn’t all on you.

ALL IN Reset Strategy:

  • AWARENESS: Ask: “Am I taking on more than my share of responsibility?”
  • REFRAME: “I made a mistake, but the team wins and loses together.”
  • INTENTION: Focus on what’s in your control: effort, attitude, preparation, and how you respond moving forward.

The Mental Performance Payoff

The truth is, every athlete will experience distorted thinking—it’s part of being human. The key is to catch it, challenge it, and choose a better response. That’s where the ALL IN Mindset ™ shines.

ALL IN MINDSET ™ IN ACTION: The R3 Method

Use this quick tool the next time a cognitive distortion creeps in:

  1. Recognize – “This is a distortion. It’s not the full truth.”
  2. Reframe – “What’s a more helpful, realistic thought?”
  3. Reset – “What action or focus can I take right now?”

Final Whistle

Cognitive distortions can be loud—but they don’t have to call the plays. Athletes who train their mindset to recognize and reframe these thoughts build a deeper sense of resilience, confidence, and control.

Mental toughness isn’t about silencing all negative thoughts. It’s about learning how to respond to them with intention, not emotion.

The Power of Your Tone: How Your Voice Shapes Your Athlete’s Confidence

The Power of Your Tone: How Your Voice Shapes Your Athlete’s Confidence

Feb 4, 2025 | Mental Health

Dr. Heather Larkin, LMHC, MGCP, MPM

 As a sports parent, you play a significant role in your child’s athletic journey. From the car ride to the game, to the sideline cheers, to the post-game conversations, everything you say—and how you say it—impacts their confidence, motivation, and overall performance.

But here’s something many parents don’t think about enough: your tone of voice.

Your words may be meant to encourage, but if they come out as sharp, disappointed, or overly intense, your athlete might hear something completely different. On the flip side, a calm, supportive tone can help them stay confident, resilient, and focused—no matter the outcome of the game.

Why Tone Matters More Than Words

Athletes, especially young ones, are highly sensitive to nonverbal cues. Research shows that only 7% of communication comes from words—while tone of voice makes up 38%, and body language 55%. That means how you say something carries five times more weight than what you actually say.

For example, consider these two ways of saying the same thing after a tough game:

Scenario 1 (harsh tone, frustrated body language):
“Why weren’t you ready to play today? You looked lost out there!”

Scenario 2 (calm tone, supportive body language):
“That was a tough game. What do you think you can do differently next time?”

Both statements address the same topic, but the first one can crush an athlete’s confidence, making them feel inadequate. The second invites reflection and growth without making them feel judged or criticized.

The Impact of Tone on an Athlete’s Mindset

Your tone of voice influences your athlete’s mindset in critical ways:

🔹 Confidence Boost vs. Self-Doubt: A supportive tone helps them trust themselves, while a frustrated or disappointed tone can lead to second-guessing.

🔹 Resilience vs. Fear of Failure: Encouraging tones teach them to bounce back from mistakes, while harsh tones make them fear making another one.

🔹 Enjoyment vs. Pressure: A positive tone keeps sports fun, while a critical tone can turn it into a high-stress experience.

Athletes who feel emotionally safe and supported are more likely to take risks, push through challenges, and stay committed to their sport.

How to Use Your Tone to Build Confidence

Here are some key ways to be mindful of your tone of voice when talking to your athlete:

✅ Keep it neutral and calm, even after a tough game. If you’re upset, take a deep breath before speaking.

✅ Match your tone to the message you want to send. Encouragement should sound warm and genuine, not forced or sarcastic.

✅ Use more curiosity and less criticism. Instead of pointing out what went wrong, ask open-ended questions like, “What did you learn from today’s game?”

✅ Be intentional about praise. Saying “I love watching you play” in an authentic, uplifting tone goes a long way.

✅ Watch your body language. Crossed arms, eye rolls, or deep sighs can send a negative message even if your words are positive.

The Car Ride Home: Where Tone Matters Most

The post-game car ride is one of the most crucial moments where your tone of voice can shape your athlete’s mindset. This is when they’re most vulnerable—processing their performance, reliving mistakes, and seeking reassurance.

Try this instead of immediate feedback:

  • “I love watching you compete.”
  • “How did you feel out there?”
  • “What was your favorite part of the game?”

Sometimes, silence is golden. If your athlete doesn’t want to talk, let them take the lead.

Final Thoughts

Your athlete’s confidence isn’t just built through training and practice—it’s also shaped by the way you communicate with them. Your tone of voice can be the difference between a confident, resilient athlete and one who plays in fear of disappointing you.

So next time you’re watching from the stands or driving home after a game, take a moment to check your tone. Your voice is more powerful than you think!

 Embracing the ALL IN Mindset: What It Means and Why It Matters 

 Embracing the ALL IN Mindset: What It Means and Why It Matters 

Nov 9, 2024 | All In Mindset

By Dr. Heather Larkin, LMHC, MGCP, MPM

In a world where challenges and uncertainties abound, there’s a mindset that truly sets apart those who merely dream of success from those who achieve it. This is the ALL IN Mindset—a powerful approach rooted not in perfection or relentless winning, but in resilience, growth, and the willingness to push beyond one’s comfort zone. Whether you’re an athlete, entrepreneur, healthcare professional, tradesperson, or parent, the ALL IN Mindset is a commitment to realizing your true potential. Let’s explore what it really means to live ALL IN and look at real-world examples of individuals embodying this transformative approach.

The Core of the ALL IN Mindset

The ALL IN Mindset is a blend of dedication, resilience, focused intention, and a steadfast commitment to growth. Going ALL IN means fully committing to your goals, embracing adversity, and transforming setbacks into stepping stones for success. It’s about understanding that challenges aren’t roadblocks—they’re part of the journey, where true growth happens.

For an athlete, going ALL IN could mean pushing for personal bests even on tough days. For a business owner, it’s about embracing innovation amid uncertainty. For parents, it’s showing up consistently and patiently, especially on the days when life feels overwhelming. In every sphere, being ALL IN means welcoming challenges and refusing to let setbacks derail your journey.

ALL IN Athletes: Beyond Training

Consider basketball legend Kobe Bryant. Known for his “Mamba Mentality,” Kobe epitomized the ALL IN Mindset. He was relentless, waking up at 4 a.m. to train, treating every practice with the intensity of a game, and always seeking improvement. His journey was just as important as the destination, leading him to five NBA championships and an unforgettable legacy.

High school athletes with dreams of playing at the collegiate level follow similar paths. They focus on daily improvement, balance academics with training, and manage stress. For them, the ALL IN Mindset is more than a mindset—it’s a guide to resilience, growth, and commitment.

ALL IN Business Owners: Turning Challenges into Triumphs

For business owners, the ALL IN Mindset is about staying committed when challenges arise. Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, faced numerous rejections before her body-shaping hosiery idea became a billion-dollar success. Her ALL IN attitude meant that each “no” was fuel to refine her product and believe in her vision. Today, she’s a self-made billionaire, proving resilience and adaptability are the bedrock of the ALL IN approach.

In everyday small businesses, this mindset means pushing through economic downturns, embracing new technologies, and connecting with customers even in tough markets. It’s about being fully committed to serving the community, continually improving, and staying passionate about the mission.

ALL IN Healthcare Professionals: A Commitment to Care

Healthcare professionals embody the ALL IN Mindset in their unwavering dedication to patients. Dr. Paul Farmer, a renowned physician, committed his life to providing healthcare in the world’s poorest areas. As a co-founder of Partners In Health, he went ALL IN to bring care to those most in need, sacrificing personal comfort for a greater mission.

Closer to home, nurses, doctors, and healthcare providers demonstrate ALL IN behavior daily. They go the extra mile, stay current on research, and prioritize patient care, ensuring people feel seen, heard, and valued.

ALL IN Tradespeople: Excellence and Integrity

In the trades, the ALL IN Mindset ensures both quality and safety. An ALL IN electrician, for instance, approaches each job with meticulous attention, knowing their work impacts the lives of those they serve. This mindset means staying updated on safety protocols, focusing on customer satisfaction, and taking pride in their craft.

Imagine an electrician who meticulously inspects each connection, upholding standards for safety and precision. They may face long hours or challenging conditions, but their commitment to excellence keeps families safe and comfortable—a powerful testament to going ALL IN.

ALL IN Law Enforcement and Public Officials: Integrity and Dedication to Service

Law enforcement officers and public officials who embrace the ALL IN Mindset demonstrate an extraordinary commitment to public service, integrity, and the welfare of their communities. This mindset is essential in a field where dedication, empathy, and resilience are crucial in handling complex challenges and fostering public trust.

ALL IN Law Enforcement Officers approach their roles with a deep sense of duty and commitment to justice. They prioritize safety, maintain professionalism under pressure, and continuously strive to bridge gaps within the community. Consider an officer who spends time in local schools, building relationships with young people to foster trust and respect. They don’t just enforce laws—they work to create safer, more connected communities, taking proactive steps to address the underlying issues that impact public safety.

For public officials, going ALL IN means dedicating themselves to serving the needs of the community, even in the face of criticism or adversity. It’s about making hard decisions with integrity, standing up for what’s right, and remaining accountable to the people they represent. An ALL IN public official doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations. Instead, they actively listen to their constituents, seek innovative solutions to pressing problems, and work tirelessly to create positive change.

From local city council members who advocate for improved public resources to state officials striving for fair policy, these ALL IN leaders are committed to the well-being of every community member. Their dedication, resilience, and openness to collaboration are the foundation of effective governance.

ALL IN Parents: Modeling Resilience and Patience

Parents may be the ultimate role models of the ALL IN Mindset, demonstrating daily what it means to show up fully for others. Parenting requires resilience, adaptability, and patience, and ALL IN parents do more than provide; they cultivate their children’s character, values, and resilience.

Consider a parent who remains present and engaged despite work demands and other challenges. They model hard work, kindness, and perseverance, teaching their children to navigate difficulties with confidence and resilience.

Why the ALL IN Mindset Matters

Going ALL IN means embracing every part of the journey—the highs, the lows, and everything in between. This mindset teaches us to value growth, stay resilient, and push beyond our comfort zones. It reminds us that each obstacle is an opportunity for growth and that unwavering commitment is the foundation of true achievement.

Whether you’re an athlete, entrepreneur, parent, or tradesperson, the ALL IN Mindset isn’t reserved for the elite. It’s a choice—a decision to give your best, stay present, and refuse to give up. By going ALL IN, you not only improve your life but inspire others to do the same. This mindset fuels progress, builds resilience, and reminds us of our true potential.

So, ask yourself: Are you ready to go ALL IN?

Explore insights from the Woman’s Journal and enhance your parenting journey with our ALL IN Parent Course!

WHO Gives a S*** What Other People Think?

WHO Gives a S*** What Other People Think?

Oct 2, 2024 | Control The Controllable

How to Decrease Your Need for Social Approval

Worrying about what others think is something most of us have experienced at some point. Whether it’s fearing judgment, criticism, or simply wanting to fit in, these concerns can weigh us down, hold us back, and keep us from living authentically. But what if you could break free from this cycle? Here’s how you can stop worrying about what others think of you and start living life on your terms.

  1. Understand the Root of Your Worry

To tackle the fear of judgment, it’s important to first understand why you care so much. Is it rooted in past experiences, insecurities, or the desire to be liked? Identifying the source can help you confront these fears directly. Remember, it’s not about changing overnight but about becoming aware of what drives your need for approval.

  1. Shift Your Focus to Your Values

When you define your core values and what truly matters to you, the opinions of others naturally take a back seat. Reflect on your personal beliefs, passions, and the standards you set for yourself. Align your actions with your values, and you’ll find that living authentically is far more fulfilling than seeking external validation.

  1. Recognize the Spotlight Effect

The “spotlight effect” is our tendency to overestimate how much others notice or care about our actions, appearance, or mistakes. The truth? Most people are preoccupied with their own lives and insecurities. Realizing this can be liberating—it means that the judgments you fear are often exaggerated in your mind.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion

Think about how you would support a close friend who is struggling with self-doubt. Now, turn that same kindness inward. Be gentle with your flaws and mistakes, recognizing that nobody is perfect. Practicing self-compassion builds resilience against the fear of external judgment.

  1. Limit Social Media Exposure

Social media can amplify feelings of inadequacy and judgment. Constant exposure to curated images and opinions can make us feel like we’re under scrutiny. Try reducing your time on these platforms and focus more on genuine, real-life interactions that bring you joy and fulfillment.

  1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When you catch yourself worrying about others’ opinions, pause and ask yourself: Are these thoughts based on facts or assumptions? Often, our minds create worst-case scenarios that have little to do with reality. Challenge these thoughts and replace them with rational, balanced perspectives.

 

  1. Focus on the Present Moment

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in quieting your inner critic. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or simply being aware of your surroundings can help you stay grounded. The more present you are, the less room there is for worries about what others might think.

  1. Seek Feedback Wisely

Not all feedback is created equal. Seek input only from those whose opinions you respect and who genuinely have your best interests at heart. The opinions of strangers or casual acquaintances often reflect their own insecurities and biases, not your worth.

  1. Practice Saying No

Learning to set boundaries and saying no when necessary is a crucial step in prioritizing your own needs over others’ expectations. It’s okay to disappoint people sometimes; in fact, it’s a sign that you’re respecting yourself.

  1. Celebrate Your Strengths

Take time to acknowledge your achievements, talents, and unique qualities. Reflecting on your strengths and what makes you special can help reinforce your sense of self-worth, making you less reliant on external validation.

  1. Embrace Imperfection

Perfection is an illusion, and striving for it only sets us up for unnecessary stress and disappointment. Embrace your imperfections as part of what makes you human. Remember, it’s often our quirks and flaws that make us relatable and lovable.

  1. Take Action Despite Fear

The best way to overcome the fear of judgment is to act in spite of it. Whether it’s speaking up, trying something new, or simply being yourself, every time you push through the discomfort, you build confidence. The more you practice, the less power fear holds over you.

Final Thoughts

Letting go of the need for approval from others is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each step forward. The more you focus on your values, practice self-compassion, and embrace who you are, the less you’ll care about what others think—and the more freedom you’ll find in being unapologetically you.

BE ALL IN!

Dr. Larkin

The Importance of Mental Performance Training for Athletes:

The Importance of Mental Performance Training for Athletes:

Oct 2, 2024 | Mental Performance

A Guide for Sports Parents

As parents of athletes, you want to see your child succeed, thrive, and enjoy their sport to the fullest. You invest time, energy, and resources into training, competitions, and equipment to support their development. But what about investing in their mental game? Often overlooked, mental performance training is a crucial component of athletic success and well-being that can set your child apart from others on and off the field.

Why Mental Performance Matters

Sports are as much mental as they are physical. Consider a scenario where two athletes have equal physical abilities. What differentiates them? It’s often their mental strength—their ability to stay calm under pressure, bounce back from setbacks, and maintain focus despite distractions. These skills don’t develop automatically; they must be cultivated just like physical conditioning. Mental performance training helps athletes learn how to manage stress, handle high-pressure situations, build confidence, and maintain a positive mindset, leading to peak performance and greater enjoyment in their sport.

Building Resilience and Grit

Athletic journeys are filled with ups and downs, victories and disappointments. Without the proper mental tools, setbacks can lead to frustration, loss of motivation, or even burnout. Mental performance training equips athletes with resilience and grit, teaching them to see failures as opportunities for growth. When your child learns to embrace challenges and view mistakes as learning experiences, they become more resilient. This resilience isn’t just beneficial in sports—it translates to other areas of life, helping them overcome obstacles with a stronger mindset.

Developing Confidence and Self-Belief

Every athlete, no matter their skill level, struggles with self-doubt at some point. The voice in their head might tell them they’re not good enough, that they’ll fail, or that others are better. Mental performance training helps athletes silence that inner critic and replace it with empowering self-talk. When athletes believe in themselves, their performance improves, and they become more willing to take risks, push boundaries, and play fearlessly. This sense of self-belief also shields them from external pressures, such as harsh criticism or unrealistic expectations, helping them maintain a healthy relationship with their sport.

Managing Anxiety and Pressure

Sports can be intense, and high-stakes situations—such as a crucial game or qualifying event—can trigger anxiety and performance pressure. Mental performance training provides athletes with techniques like visualization, breathing exercises, and mindfulness to control their nerves and stay composed in these moments. By learning how to regulate emotions and maintain focus, your child can perform at their best when it matters most, turning nervous energy into an asset rather than a hindrance.

 

Fostering Enjoyment and Long-Term Engagement

The joy of playing a sport is the foundation of an athlete’s motivation. When athletes become overly focused on results, external validation, or avoiding mistakes, they lose the intrinsic enjoyment of the game. Mental performance training helps athletes reconnect with why they love their sport, emphasizing process over outcome and effort over perfection. When athletes play for the love of the game, they’re more likely to stay engaged, avoid burnout, and maintain a positive attitude—even when things don’t go as planned.

Creating a Supportive Environment as a Parent

As a sports parent, you play a pivotal role in shaping your child’s mindset. Encouraging mental performance training shows your child that you value their holistic development, not just their achievements. It also gives you tools to support them during challenging times, reinforcing the mental skills they’re learning and fostering open communication about their thoughts and emotions. This collaborative approach creates a positive environment where your child feels understood, supported, and empowered to reach their potential.

The Bottom Line

Mental performance training isn’t just for elite athletes—it’s for every athlete. It’s about preparing your child to navigate the emotional and psychological demands of their sport, so they can perform at their best, enjoy the journey, and build life skills that extend far beyond the playing field. By investing in your child’s mental game, you’re giving them a gift that will enhance their performance and enrich their overall well-being. So, the next time you think about their sports development, consider not just how high they can jump or how fast they can run, but how strong they can be in mind and spirit.

BE ALL IN!

Dr. Larkin